2011
Thanks for being one of the best years to date. You brought me face to face with some of the most difficult decisions and I feel like without them, I wouldn't be who I am right now. There's parts of this year I really wished didn't go by so fast but they were wonderful. I've never experienced so much happiness or sadness until this year.
2011 tought me to not be afraid of my own feelings. I learnt to not be afraid of telling someone how I feel because they might just feel the same way. I know now that even if they don't feel the same way; it's not the end of the world. I learnt that sometimes you don't always get what you want and it's often the case that you don't get your fairytale guy at 17. And even after what feels like to short a period of time or maybe the best months of your life; it can all come crashing down. I also learnt what real heart break feels like. And in all honesty, I'm still not over it. Probably won't be for a while. It's probably the worst feeling to live with but I don't regret a minute of it cause it's ok to not be ok. It's okay to not feel good enough, to feel down, it's just a part of life. I've learnt it's how you deal with those feelings and how you overcome them is what really matters.
But most importantly, I learnt that you can't base your happiness off someone else. Someone might make you happy but they don't create your happiness. You have be content with yourself because at the end of the day when all those people are gone and you are left by yourself ... you're the one you have to live with.
So with 2011 coming to an end I'm not going to make up a bunch of promises that I know that I'm not going to keep for 2012. I'm not going to say that I'm going to change who I am, lose weight or improve a certain aspect of my life. I'm just going to continue to be me ... because I think that's good enough and it's worked so far, hasn't it?
Friday, December 30, 2011
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Naked.
I think I've been caught naked more times then anybody else. Yes, you heard it; naked, bare and exposed. Have I got your attention now? Thought so.
Contrary to what you might be thinking, I'm not talking about being spotted with no clothes on or people seeing me in my birthday suit. No, I'm talking about a feeling. And this is a feeling that I think only true writer's can fully comprehend and relate too because other people don't wear their heart on their sleeve... or on a piece of paper, so to speak, like we do.
I'll speak for myself when I say that writing is a form of expression and it's 100% the way that I express myself and my feelings. When I'm happy, sad, angry, tired; I write. Which means that it's very probable that many of my feelings, experiences and emotions can be read easily in all my writing. Talk about an open book.
When other people ask me to send them my work or read my writing, it's hard to tell them why I'm so hesistant. It's not because I'm not proud of my work or I don't think it's any good. It's because my writing is the most naked and honest thing anyone will ever see relating to me. When someone reads my writing, it makes me feel that way. It's almost like they have a looking glass into my mind and sometimes that's really scary. You can look at person completely nude standing in front of you and not see who they are. But take one look at what they write or how they express themselves and you could know their whole life.
Sometimes things they don't even want you to know are sitting in plain view and it can all just be read off a piece of paper.
Contrary to what you might be thinking, I'm not talking about being spotted with no clothes on or people seeing me in my birthday suit. No, I'm talking about a feeling. And this is a feeling that I think only true writer's can fully comprehend and relate too because other people don't wear their heart on their sleeve... or on a piece of paper, so to speak, like we do.
I'll speak for myself when I say that writing is a form of expression and it's 100% the way that I express myself and my feelings. When I'm happy, sad, angry, tired; I write. Which means that it's very probable that many of my feelings, experiences and emotions can be read easily in all my writing. Talk about an open book.
When other people ask me to send them my work or read my writing, it's hard to tell them why I'm so hesistant. It's not because I'm not proud of my work or I don't think it's any good. It's because my writing is the most naked and honest thing anyone will ever see relating to me. When someone reads my writing, it makes me feel that way. It's almost like they have a looking glass into my mind and sometimes that's really scary. You can look at person completely nude standing in front of you and not see who they are. But take one look at what they write or how they express themselves and you could know their whole life.
Sometimes things they don't even want you to know are sitting in plain view and it can all just be read off a piece of paper.
YOU SAVED ME, THANK YOU SO MUCH♥
I'd like to make a small shout out to one of my friends that in recent events has made me see them in a new light. After knowing him for a long time through elementary school and then getting to know him even more for three years in high school I thought I understood him pretty well. Turns out I was very wrong. So this is everything that I'd love to say to him;
Dear friend,
I am extremely proud to know you. You're one of the most amazing and warm hearted guys that I've had the privilege to get to know in my life. I'm extremely grateful to have you to talk to over the past month when things haven't been so easy for me. You took the time out of your life to listen to all my problems no matter how boring or irrelevant they were to you. You comforted me and made me feel better. I don't know what I would have done without you and all your advice because it has honestly helped me more than you know. You're the only person that has ever asked me if I'm okay and not believed me when I said I was. You give me the harsh truth when I don't want it, but actually need it the most; and even though it upsets me at times, I'm extremely happy to hear it. I never knew that you were such a deep and complex guy with feelings that I didn't know guys even possessed. You hope for a lot of the same things I do when it comes to love and happiness and that makes me feel very close to you. It breaks my heart to see you hurting because I know that no matter how many smiles you give to others, that there's pain deep down. The fact that it hurts you so much to hurt others makes me see that you're an actual genuine person with a giant heart, which is the best quality to have. You're optomism and strength is inspiring and it gives me hope for my own life. I sincerely hope with all my heart that you find all the love and happiness that you're searching for because I can't think of anybody else who would deserve it more. You're so sweet and such a nice guy that I wish I could make all your dreams come true and all the pain you feel go away. Thank you so much for all your help and please know that I'm always here for you, just as much as you are here for me. You deserve the world, and I'd like to thank you for helping me see that I deserve things too. I hope to continue to become better friends and stay close after high school. Keep smiling, happy looks good on you ♥
Dear friend,
I am extremely proud to know you. You're one of the most amazing and warm hearted guys that I've had the privilege to get to know in my life. I'm extremely grateful to have you to talk to over the past month when things haven't been so easy for me. You took the time out of your life to listen to all my problems no matter how boring or irrelevant they were to you. You comforted me and made me feel better. I don't know what I would have done without you and all your advice because it has honestly helped me more than you know. You're the only person that has ever asked me if I'm okay and not believed me when I said I was. You give me the harsh truth when I don't want it, but actually need it the most; and even though it upsets me at times, I'm extremely happy to hear it. I never knew that you were such a deep and complex guy with feelings that I didn't know guys even possessed. You hope for a lot of the same things I do when it comes to love and happiness and that makes me feel very close to you. It breaks my heart to see you hurting because I know that no matter how many smiles you give to others, that there's pain deep down. The fact that it hurts you so much to hurt others makes me see that you're an actual genuine person with a giant heart, which is the best quality to have. You're optomism and strength is inspiring and it gives me hope for my own life. I sincerely hope with all my heart that you find all the love and happiness that you're searching for because I can't think of anybody else who would deserve it more. You're so sweet and such a nice guy that I wish I could make all your dreams come true and all the pain you feel go away. Thank you so much for all your help and please know that I'm always here for you, just as much as you are here for me. You deserve the world, and I'd like to thank you for helping me see that I deserve things too. I hope to continue to become better friends and stay close after high school. Keep smiling, happy looks good on you ♥
Comfort foods; pizza
So seeing as this is a blog that is suppose to encompass my being and personality; I think I should address a topic that many poeple know about me but don't fully understand. I have a huge adoration for food. There's a big place in my heart for food, but that place is more specifically dedicated to my love of PIZZA.
If we're being honest.. what's not to love?
Fluffy baked dough crunchy on the outside but soft inside.
Red, spiced dreamy sauce coating the dough.
Topped with mozzarella cheese.
Baked in an oven until that cheese melts to a nice golden brown.
When you bite into it, there's an abundance of flavour and cheesy goodness.
And even though there are many variations of the pizza, I still like to stick to the simple cheese pizza... because it consists of the perfect cheese to crust to sauce ratio.
Besides the obvious deliciousness of a pizza... there are plenty more reasons why I love this Italian meal.
I once read somewhere that Grecs believed that everything that was a circular or round shape was created by the Gods. That's where all their beliefs about the sun and earth come from. Pizza is a circular shape, so it is apparent to me that pizza was created by the Gods. That's why it's so heavenly to eat.
It's one of the only foods that I have never gotten sick of eating. I could eat it everyday, for every meal. The only thing that's stopping me is the discusting fact of how much fat and calories it has. I don't know how New Yorkers control themselves with famous New York pizza or I think it's Chicago with their deep dish pizza. There's just so much love of pizza to go around... I wouldn't be able to stop myself. I truly believe that no matter where life takes me, as long I live somewhere near a really good pizzeria... I would be able to live a happy life.
On top of all this, pizza or just food in general has never let me down. It's the only thing that's never let me down. I can count of delicious foods, to be there for me when I need them. Food is comfort for me, and I have no problem admitting that.
Pizza is my comfort food.
It's also a vegetable... so I think it's a healthy choice :)
If we're being honest.. what's not to love?
Fluffy baked dough crunchy on the outside but soft inside.
Red, spiced dreamy sauce coating the dough.
Topped with mozzarella cheese.
Baked in an oven until that cheese melts to a nice golden brown.
When you bite into it, there's an abundance of flavour and cheesy goodness.
And even though there are many variations of the pizza, I still like to stick to the simple cheese pizza... because it consists of the perfect cheese to crust to sauce ratio.
Besides the obvious deliciousness of a pizza... there are plenty more reasons why I love this Italian meal.
I once read somewhere that Grecs believed that everything that was a circular or round shape was created by the Gods. That's where all their beliefs about the sun and earth come from. Pizza is a circular shape, so it is apparent to me that pizza was created by the Gods. That's why it's so heavenly to eat.
It's one of the only foods that I have never gotten sick of eating. I could eat it everyday, for every meal. The only thing that's stopping me is the discusting fact of how much fat and calories it has. I don't know how New Yorkers control themselves with famous New York pizza or I think it's Chicago with their deep dish pizza. There's just so much love of pizza to go around... I wouldn't be able to stop myself. I truly believe that no matter where life takes me, as long I live somewhere near a really good pizzeria... I would be able to live a happy life.
On top of all this, pizza or just food in general has never let me down. It's the only thing that's never let me down. I can count of delicious foods, to be there for me when I need them. Food is comfort for me, and I have no problem admitting that.
Pizza is my comfort food.
It's also a vegetable... so I think it's a healthy choice :)
SLAM
This is too that one girl who thinks they're more important.
Walk... with your hips swaying side to side.
Talk... with that superior tone and obnoxious grin.
Sit... on that ass and do nothing.
'Cause you're just a leech sucking out the happiness in this world.
Live... apart from everyone around you and roll your eyes.
Sleep... through all the good times and only see the bad.
Complain... all the time about everyone around you.
'Cause you're oblivious to dark light that shines down on you.
Bully... knowingly and purposely, like you have nothing better to do with your time.
Pity... all the people that look like ants in your big fat head.
Smile... even though it's the only thing that you're never going to truly feel.
'Cause there's only negativity that consumes you.
Think twice when you walk around,
Those narrow hallways run parrellel with your thought prossess.
Never moving, never understanding.
Never changing.
So judge.
Look down.
Feel good about yourself.
'Cause nobody's going look twice at a girl who thinks she's better.
Walk... with your hips swaying side to side.
Talk... with that superior tone and obnoxious grin.
Sit... on that ass and do nothing.
'Cause you're just a leech sucking out the happiness in this world.
Live... apart from everyone around you and roll your eyes.
Sleep... through all the good times and only see the bad.
Complain... all the time about everyone around you.
'Cause you're oblivious to dark light that shines down on you.
Bully... knowingly and purposely, like you have nothing better to do with your time.
Pity... all the people that look like ants in your big fat head.
Smile... even though it's the only thing that you're never going to truly feel.
'Cause there's only negativity that consumes you.
Think twice when you walk around,
Those narrow hallways run parrellel with your thought prossess.
Never moving, never understanding.
Never changing.
So judge.
Look down.
Feel good about yourself.
'Cause nobody's going look twice at a girl who thinks she's better.
New Friends
Friday night at two in the morning, I was on my computer, talking to a friend and playing around with my tumblr blog when one of the girls that I follow posted a comment. It read, "I really just need a friend to talk to, or a stranger. Anybody who can just listen." I decided that because it was so late in the night and I wasn't sleeping anyways that I would reply. So I did. I asked her if there was anything I could help her with or if she just needed me there to listen... I knew I was a stranger but I was there if she needed me. I'm actually very glad that I did because I ended up making a friend.
Not only in one reply did I make a new friend but I managed to listen and give advice to a complete stranger and that was an amazing feeling. It's often hard to get into the heads of others and understand where they're coming from. I never believed that you could really empathize with someone without going through exactly what they did, because what makes you think that you know exactly what they feel? For me, assuming kind of feels offensive because while they're in pain, you might not be so how are you going to help or say that you're going to take that pain away when you can't? But this really changed my mind. I understand now that you don't need to go through the same things to empathize and to help, it just makes it easier to relate and connect when that happens.
I guess with all the struggles and hardships in my life right now, I've kind of retreited into my own bubble. I've been bottling up all my feelings and putting on a smile everyday. I don't like burdening people with my problems or sharing them because I feel weaker that way. But it felt really good to be able to be there for someone else and them be there for me. The fact that a complete stranger would stop, let me help them and then graciously ask how I'm doing and tell me that it'll be okay, and that I deserve happiness puts a little hope back into my life. It kind of reminded me that there are still good people out there that are actually genuine in their intensions, which is often hard to find. We all need friends and people to depend on, that doesn't make us weaker... it just makes us human.
Not only in one reply did I make a new friend but I managed to listen and give advice to a complete stranger and that was an amazing feeling. It's often hard to get into the heads of others and understand where they're coming from. I never believed that you could really empathize with someone without going through exactly what they did, because what makes you think that you know exactly what they feel? For me, assuming kind of feels offensive because while they're in pain, you might not be so how are you going to help or say that you're going to take that pain away when you can't? But this really changed my mind. I understand now that you don't need to go through the same things to empathize and to help, it just makes it easier to relate and connect when that happens.
I guess with all the struggles and hardships in my life right now, I've kind of retreited into my own bubble. I've been bottling up all my feelings and putting on a smile everyday. I don't like burdening people with my problems or sharing them because I feel weaker that way. But it felt really good to be able to be there for someone else and them be there for me. The fact that a complete stranger would stop, let me help them and then graciously ask how I'm doing and tell me that it'll be okay, and that I deserve happiness puts a little hope back into my life. It kind of reminded me that there are still good people out there that are actually genuine in their intensions, which is often hard to find. We all need friends and people to depend on, that doesn't make us weaker... it just makes us human.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Things that show you love someone
- Holding hands intertwined
- Randomly putting your arms around them.
- Rubbing their back as you walk by
- Looking then smiling when they realize you are looking at them.
- Heart skipping a beat when you receive messages from them or smiling at your phone.
- Just laying and not talking. Enjoying the silence.
- Text to say goodmorning.
- Calling them beautiful or handsome.
- Always forgiving them for wrong doings.
- Buying them flowers … classic.
- Writing a letter to them... romantic.
- Staying up late talking.
- Being able to be around them without any make up on, that’s comfort.
- Getting along with their family.
- Appreciating and acknowledging their accomplishments.
- Celebrating all the good things together.
- You’re just you around them.
- Empathizing when they’re sad or hurting.
- Doing anything or any favor for them when they need it.
- Just know what to say around them.
- You can’t find the words to say anything.
- You don’t know why, but you just like them.
- Be nice to their friends and get to know them.
- Test out their kind of music with an open mind.
- Go shopping with them when they want to go.
- Shove cake or food in their face.
- Call just to say hello, see how they’re doing.
- Not being afraid to show them off to others in public.
- Wait for them, emotionally and sexually.
- Let them go.
- Listen when they talk.
- Laugh with them.
♥
- Randomly putting your arms around them.
- Rubbing their back as you walk by
- Looking then smiling when they realize you are looking at them.
- Heart skipping a beat when you receive messages from them or smiling at your phone.
- Just laying and not talking. Enjoying the silence.
- Text to say goodmorning.
- Calling them beautiful or handsome.
- Always forgiving them for wrong doings.
- Buying them flowers … classic.
- Writing a letter to them... romantic.
- Staying up late talking.
- Being able to be around them without any make up on, that’s comfort.
- Getting along with their family.
- Appreciating and acknowledging their accomplishments.
- Celebrating all the good things together.
- You’re just you around them.
- Empathizing when they’re sad or hurting.
- Doing anything or any favor for them when they need it.
- Just know what to say around them.
- You can’t find the words to say anything.
- You don’t know why, but you just like them.
- Be nice to their friends and get to know them.
- Test out their kind of music with an open mind.
- Go shopping with them when they want to go.
- Shove cake or food in their face.
- Call just to say hello, see how they’re doing.
- Not being afraid to show them off to others in public.
- Wait for them, emotionally and sexually.
- Let them go.
- Listen when they talk.
- Laugh with them.
♥
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Context
I've been bullied before.
In elementary school I had friends who I believed were going to be my best friends for life. We spent tons of time together and then suddenly one day they decided I just wasn't worth their time anymore. They started to call me names, said I ate to much and even went as far as get a guy ask me out as a joke so they could laugh at me... Now I look at those people and think, thank god I'm not friends with you because who would I be? As much as I hated them then and I still do now, I can't help but thank them for dropping me out of their life... because I would never want to be who they are. After believing for a long time that maybe I wasn't good enough to be their friend, I started to realize that they weren't good enough to be mine. They got their laughs in that moment, but guess who's laughing now?
I was hit by a truck a year ago today.
I was walking home after I got off the bus. It wasn't my regular routine because I had a dentist appointment and I had taken a different route home. I was looking down at my ipod waiting to cross the street, picking a song to enjoy.When I got the white walking hand signal, I started to walk thinking it was safe. Clearly it wasn't because I felt like I should look up for a moment. When I did a huge pick-up truck with giant silver and black grills came and hit me right off my feet. I went flying across the pavement, scraping skin and ripping clothes. I had to ride to the hospital, get bandaged up and I was on crutches for a week. As scary as that moment was, it was probably the most wicked.
In elementary school I had friends who I believed were going to be my best friends for life. We spent tons of time together and then suddenly one day they decided I just wasn't worth their time anymore. They started to call me names, said I ate to much and even went as far as get a guy ask me out as a joke so they could laugh at me... Now I look at those people and think, thank god I'm not friends with you because who would I be? As much as I hated them then and I still do now, I can't help but thank them for dropping me out of their life... because I would never want to be who they are. After believing for a long time that maybe I wasn't good enough to be their friend, I started to realize that they weren't good enough to be mine. They got their laughs in that moment, but guess who's laughing now?
I was hit by a truck a year ago today.
I was walking home after I got off the bus. It wasn't my regular routine because I had a dentist appointment and I had taken a different route home. I was looking down at my ipod waiting to cross the street, picking a song to enjoy.When I got the white walking hand signal, I started to walk thinking it was safe. Clearly it wasn't because I felt like I should look up for a moment. When I did a huge pick-up truck with giant silver and black grills came and hit me right off my feet. I went flying across the pavement, scraping skin and ripping clothes. I had to ride to the hospital, get bandaged up and I was on crutches for a week. As scary as that moment was, it was probably the most wicked.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
I am so angry.
I am so angry. This week has just made me so angry. If you've read my last post you would have seen that I was super excited to go to the beach and go on vacation. I haven't gone somewhere hot and sandy in over 2 years, so I was unbelievably excited to go. I was actually looking forward to it so much.
So yerterday when I woke up before school my sister told me that my parents had decided that we aren't going anymore because the weather forecast didn't look promising. Three days before we leave and they decide we're not going. My ass. Let's be honest, the weather changes every five seconds, and sometimes what the weather people say isn't always what happens. Even better, my parents didn't even have the decency to let me know face to face. I had to find out through my sister and then my mom called me over the phone.
I don't know what pisses me off more...
The fact that I prepared so much for this and got so excited and now it's an utter dissapointment... I spent 200$ on bathing suits, I spent money of tanning so that I wouldn't burn when I tanned in the sun, I booked off 10 days of work for this vacation and now I'm not going to get shifts for those 10 days. I put off assignments that are due TOMORROW and next week (BIG PROJECTS) because I believed I would have a full week to do them and make them great. And now I have to rush to do them. I'm trying to get into programs for university that need averages in the 80's and 90's, which means I can't be cramming in homeworkt like this. I'd like to ask my parents like; are you going to pay for all the work I'm missing or replace all the money I spent on beach stuff?
OR
The fact that this isn't the first time that my parents have built my hopes up for something and completely smashed them down with a stomping godzilla foot. I've moved houses over 3 times in the last 2 years because my parents couldn't make up their freakin' mind about what they wanted to live in and they finally decided on my least favourite choice of place ever. Out in the country almost to navan. I have to bus 2 hours a day to get to school and an hour each way if I want to go somewhere later to hang out. It's actually aggravating. I feel like I'm on a caddle train everyday. They told me because they were doing this and moving me out so far where it was inconvient to get places that they would be getting me a car by the begginning of the summer.... CHECK THE DATE?! Yeah, it's october. Still no car. Somewhat understandable seeing as I was a little late on getting my G2... but now they're telling me that we'd have a second car ready soon for me so I could have that to get places. When I ask about when that's going to happen seeing as they said soon.. now they're telling me that it won't be until march because we won't have enough room in the drive way until my sister moves out. MY ASS AGAIN. We have a 4 car drive way. Just cause there's a sidewalk near the end doesn't make it any less as big. It's just dissapointment after dissapointment. And I'm sick of it.
I'm just so tired of being told something and then it not happening. It's almost like I'm being lied to over and over again... How am I suppose to believe anything my parents say anymore. They're telling me we are instead going to do a vacation in febuary and I can't bring myself to believe them till I'm actually in the car, on the way there. I'm not sure I even want to go anywhere with them now. I'm trying to keep a level head, thinking maybe I'm over reacting a bit.. I mean it's just a vacation... But it's more than that. This actually hurts me... Almost like they think they can just play around with my life as they please.
no.
No.
NO.
So yerterday when I woke up before school my sister told me that my parents had decided that we aren't going anymore because the weather forecast didn't look promising. Three days before we leave and they decide we're not going. My ass. Let's be honest, the weather changes every five seconds, and sometimes what the weather people say isn't always what happens. Even better, my parents didn't even have the decency to let me know face to face. I had to find out through my sister and then my mom called me over the phone.
I don't know what pisses me off more...
The fact that I prepared so much for this and got so excited and now it's an utter dissapointment... I spent 200$ on bathing suits, I spent money of tanning so that I wouldn't burn when I tanned in the sun, I booked off 10 days of work for this vacation and now I'm not going to get shifts for those 10 days. I put off assignments that are due TOMORROW and next week (BIG PROJECTS) because I believed I would have a full week to do them and make them great. And now I have to rush to do them. I'm trying to get into programs for university that need averages in the 80's and 90's, which means I can't be cramming in homeworkt like this. I'd like to ask my parents like; are you going to pay for all the work I'm missing or replace all the money I spent on beach stuff?
OR
The fact that this isn't the first time that my parents have built my hopes up for something and completely smashed them down with a stomping godzilla foot. I've moved houses over 3 times in the last 2 years because my parents couldn't make up their freakin' mind about what they wanted to live in and they finally decided on my least favourite choice of place ever. Out in the country almost to navan. I have to bus 2 hours a day to get to school and an hour each way if I want to go somewhere later to hang out. It's actually aggravating. I feel like I'm on a caddle train everyday. They told me because they were doing this and moving me out so far where it was inconvient to get places that they would be getting me a car by the begginning of the summer.... CHECK THE DATE?! Yeah, it's october. Still no car. Somewhat understandable seeing as I was a little late on getting my G2... but now they're telling me that we'd have a second car ready soon for me so I could have that to get places. When I ask about when that's going to happen seeing as they said soon.. now they're telling me that it won't be until march because we won't have enough room in the drive way until my sister moves out. MY ASS AGAIN. We have a 4 car drive way. Just cause there's a sidewalk near the end doesn't make it any less as big. It's just dissapointment after dissapointment. And I'm sick of it.
I'm just so tired of being told something and then it not happening. It's almost like I'm being lied to over and over again... How am I suppose to believe anything my parents say anymore. They're telling me we are instead going to do a vacation in febuary and I can't bring myself to believe them till I'm actually in the car, on the way there. I'm not sure I even want to go anywhere with them now. I'm trying to keep a level head, thinking maybe I'm over reacting a bit.. I mean it's just a vacation... But it's more than that. This actually hurts me... Almost like they think they can just play around with my life as they please.
no.
No.
NO.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Writing on a fresh and new sheet of lined paper
Nothing's better than that feeling of starting a new sentence on a beautiful crisp, white sheet of lined paper. There's no smudges or wrinkles yet from writing. Beautiful.
So, you're taking notes in class and as you're writing furiously away about whatever boring topic the teacher chose to talk about today, you realize you've come to the end of your page. You've been writing on the backside of the paper for a while and it sucks. The paper is all indented from the writing on the other side and you have to take the paper out of the binder because your arm keeps bumping into the spin of whatever book or binder it's in when you get to close to the right side of the page. There's almost a sigh of relief in getting out that new piece of paper and starting new on that page of notes. Everytime I tell myself, let's make this one look more organized. The hand glides naturally over the smooth paper that has been untouched until now. Wonderful.
Class notes are never as good as that.
AWESOME.
So, you're taking notes in class and as you're writing furiously away about whatever boring topic the teacher chose to talk about today, you realize you've come to the end of your page. You've been writing on the backside of the paper for a while and it sucks. The paper is all indented from the writing on the other side and you have to take the paper out of the binder because your arm keeps bumping into the spin of whatever book or binder it's in when you get to close to the right side of the page. There's almost a sigh of relief in getting out that new piece of paper and starting new on that page of notes. Everytime I tell myself, let's make this one look more organized. The hand glides naturally over the smooth paper that has been untouched until now. Wonderful.
Class notes are never as good as that.
AWESOME.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Be happy, breathe happy
It came to my attention this weekend, after lots of drama between my friends, that not a lot of people know what true happiness feels like. They are stuck with all these tough problems that just bring them down and make life such a burden when it's not suppose to be. Everyone always has a problem that's bringing them down. It may be big or small but there's always PROBLEMS! All over the place and everywhere you look, someone is going through something difficult that they really don't deserve.
I have a pretty calm and good life, thankfully. I don't have to much drama, and I like it that way. I feel like I'm where I'm suppose to be and with who I'm suppose to be with. I would say that I am what people would say "happy". I wish I could share my happiness with the other people that aren't fortunate enough to have it everyday. It's like the idea of money or food and giving those things to the less fortunate. Except everyone in the world could use this feeling. If I could pass it around in my hands, I think I would... cause it feels really good.
Imagine for a moment in time that everyone in this world would just feel happiness, everyone at the same time. Pure, simple happiness. No problems or worries will plague them while they walk around. For one split second EVERY SINGLE person on this earth feels happiness. JUST ONE SECOND. I feel like it would be so powerful, you'd feel a hum in the air from the power of happiness. Cool.
I have a pretty calm and good life, thankfully. I don't have to much drama, and I like it that way. I feel like I'm where I'm suppose to be and with who I'm suppose to be with. I would say that I am what people would say "happy". I wish I could share my happiness with the other people that aren't fortunate enough to have it everyday. It's like the idea of money or food and giving those things to the less fortunate. Except everyone in the world could use this feeling. If I could pass it around in my hands, I think I would... cause it feels really good.
Imagine for a moment in time that everyone in this world would just feel happiness, everyone at the same time. Pure, simple happiness. No problems or worries will plague them while they walk around. For one split second EVERY SINGLE person on this earth feels happiness. JUST ONE SECOND. I feel like it would be so powerful, you'd feel a hum in the air from the power of happiness. Cool.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
DREAM WORLDS
Dreams are probably one of the most curious things that present itself to us in this life, in my opinion. It's hard to say where they come from because when you're dreaming your mind goes to places that it's not possible to visit in real life. It comes up with the craziest and wierdest things that you never even imagined in your day dreams. Sometimes you can't even remember what you fully dreamed about after you wake up no matter how hard you try. It's seriously curious.
Studies have shown that when you dream, your minds opens itself up to your unconscience. This is a place where your inner most desired are kept. Things you don't even know exist bury themselves down in there and they can present themselves in your dreams. Sometimes not in the way that you think, but in a metaphorical way, possibly? The only things stopping these things from coming out is the other parts of your brain. Usually it's the other part of your conscious like your super ego and all that good stuff that's just to confusing for my brain to handle ... (Thank you Freud for opening up that can of worms)!
So here's my theory...
Think of a time where you actually remembered one of your dreams! They often include manifestations of people or things that you are familiar with. Sometimes I even find myself dreaming about things that I was thinking about right before I went to sleep. The things that are more prominant in your mind always seem to creep up in there, don't you think? I believe that these people are representations of things your mind is trying to recreate to convey a message. Just like the type of dream you have, it shows how your inner self is feeling.
Everything has a significance to your life. It's hard to explain the way dreams work and how one simple thing in a dream can have a big impact or significance to the dreamer. It's almost like dreams are tyring to send your awake self a message about something you desire, something you fear or something that's seriously bothering you. I think that when you actually remember the dream, it's because it's important enough that you need to know something from it or learn from it. Like your conscience is allowing you to remember so you can work on that problem or celebrate it depending on what kind of dream it was.
Dreams are a funny thing but also so interesting when you think about it. It's always going to be a question people are trying to answer, because it's an answer that is very difficult to find.
Studies have shown that when you dream, your minds opens itself up to your unconscience. This is a place where your inner most desired are kept. Things you don't even know exist bury themselves down in there and they can present themselves in your dreams. Sometimes not in the way that you think, but in a metaphorical way, possibly? The only things stopping these things from coming out is the other parts of your brain. Usually it's the other part of your conscious like your super ego and all that good stuff that's just to confusing for my brain to handle ... (Thank you Freud for opening up that can of worms)!
So here's my theory...
Think of a time where you actually remembered one of your dreams! They often include manifestations of people or things that you are familiar with. Sometimes I even find myself dreaming about things that I was thinking about right before I went to sleep. The things that are more prominant in your mind always seem to creep up in there, don't you think? I believe that these people are representations of things your mind is trying to recreate to convey a message. Just like the type of dream you have, it shows how your inner self is feeling.
Everything has a significance to your life. It's hard to explain the way dreams work and how one simple thing in a dream can have a big impact or significance to the dreamer. It's almost like dreams are tyring to send your awake self a message about something you desire, something you fear or something that's seriously bothering you. I think that when you actually remember the dream, it's because it's important enough that you need to know something from it or learn from it. Like your conscience is allowing you to remember so you can work on that problem or celebrate it depending on what kind of dream it was.
Dreams are a funny thing but also so interesting when you think about it. It's always going to be a question people are trying to answer, because it's an answer that is very difficult to find.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Welcome :)
The world is a big scary place sometimes. It's often hard to try and find yourself amongst the many strangers also walking around trying to find their feet. Everybody is different no matter what they look like on the outside or how others choose to classify them. We all have different opinions, thoughts, likes, dislikes, and religious views. Even twins that look completely similar are unlike each other in more ways than one. We find unity with each other on common interests but all these things seperate us from one another and make us individuals.
The word is a beautiful place with many opportunities and great things to explore and see. So this is my blog, dedicated to all the things that I love and can't stand in this world. To the many things that I'm excited to discover on the way and my interpretation of them.
xox.
The word is a beautiful place with many opportunities and great things to explore and see. So this is my blog, dedicated to all the things that I love and can't stand in this world. To the many things that I'm excited to discover on the way and my interpretation of them.
xox.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)