I've been bullied before.
In elementary school I had friends who I believed were going to be my best friends for life. We spent tons of time together and then suddenly one day they decided I just wasn't worth their time anymore. They started to call me names, said I ate to much and even went as far as get a guy ask me out as a joke so they could laugh at me... Now I look at those people and think, thank god I'm not friends with you because who would I be? As much as I hated them then and I still do now, I can't help but thank them for dropping me out of their life... because I would never want to be who they are. After believing for a long time that maybe I wasn't good enough to be their friend, I started to realize that they weren't good enough to be mine. They got their laughs in that moment, but guess who's laughing now?
I was hit by a truck a year ago today.
I was walking home after I got off the bus. It wasn't my regular routine because I had a dentist appointment and I had taken a different route home. I was looking down at my ipod waiting to cross the street, picking a song to enjoy.When I got the white walking hand signal, I started to walk thinking it was safe. Clearly it wasn't because I felt like I should look up for a moment. When I did a huge pick-up truck with giant silver and black grills came and hit me right off my feet. I went flying across the pavement, scraping skin and ripping clothes. I had to ride to the hospital, get bandaged up and I was on crutches for a week. As scary as that moment was, it was probably the most wicked.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
I am so angry.
I am so angry. This week has just made me so angry. If you've read my last post you would have seen that I was super excited to go to the beach and go on vacation. I haven't gone somewhere hot and sandy in over 2 years, so I was unbelievably excited to go. I was actually looking forward to it so much.
So yerterday when I woke up before school my sister told me that my parents had decided that we aren't going anymore because the weather forecast didn't look promising. Three days before we leave and they decide we're not going. My ass. Let's be honest, the weather changes every five seconds, and sometimes what the weather people say isn't always what happens. Even better, my parents didn't even have the decency to let me know face to face. I had to find out through my sister and then my mom called me over the phone.
I don't know what pisses me off more...
The fact that I prepared so much for this and got so excited and now it's an utter dissapointment... I spent 200$ on bathing suits, I spent money of tanning so that I wouldn't burn when I tanned in the sun, I booked off 10 days of work for this vacation and now I'm not going to get shifts for those 10 days. I put off assignments that are due TOMORROW and next week (BIG PROJECTS) because I believed I would have a full week to do them and make them great. And now I have to rush to do them. I'm trying to get into programs for university that need averages in the 80's and 90's, which means I can't be cramming in homeworkt like this. I'd like to ask my parents like; are you going to pay for all the work I'm missing or replace all the money I spent on beach stuff?
OR
The fact that this isn't the first time that my parents have built my hopes up for something and completely smashed them down with a stomping godzilla foot. I've moved houses over 3 times in the last 2 years because my parents couldn't make up their freakin' mind about what they wanted to live in and they finally decided on my least favourite choice of place ever. Out in the country almost to navan. I have to bus 2 hours a day to get to school and an hour each way if I want to go somewhere later to hang out. It's actually aggravating. I feel like I'm on a caddle train everyday. They told me because they were doing this and moving me out so far where it was inconvient to get places that they would be getting me a car by the begginning of the summer.... CHECK THE DATE?! Yeah, it's october. Still no car. Somewhat understandable seeing as I was a little late on getting my G2... but now they're telling me that we'd have a second car ready soon for me so I could have that to get places. When I ask about when that's going to happen seeing as they said soon.. now they're telling me that it won't be until march because we won't have enough room in the drive way until my sister moves out. MY ASS AGAIN. We have a 4 car drive way. Just cause there's a sidewalk near the end doesn't make it any less as big. It's just dissapointment after dissapointment. And I'm sick of it.
I'm just so tired of being told something and then it not happening. It's almost like I'm being lied to over and over again... How am I suppose to believe anything my parents say anymore. They're telling me we are instead going to do a vacation in febuary and I can't bring myself to believe them till I'm actually in the car, on the way there. I'm not sure I even want to go anywhere with them now. I'm trying to keep a level head, thinking maybe I'm over reacting a bit.. I mean it's just a vacation... But it's more than that. This actually hurts me... Almost like they think they can just play around with my life as they please.
no.
No.
NO.
So yerterday when I woke up before school my sister told me that my parents had decided that we aren't going anymore because the weather forecast didn't look promising. Three days before we leave and they decide we're not going. My ass. Let's be honest, the weather changes every five seconds, and sometimes what the weather people say isn't always what happens. Even better, my parents didn't even have the decency to let me know face to face. I had to find out through my sister and then my mom called me over the phone.
I don't know what pisses me off more...
The fact that I prepared so much for this and got so excited and now it's an utter dissapointment... I spent 200$ on bathing suits, I spent money of tanning so that I wouldn't burn when I tanned in the sun, I booked off 10 days of work for this vacation and now I'm not going to get shifts for those 10 days. I put off assignments that are due TOMORROW and next week (BIG PROJECTS) because I believed I would have a full week to do them and make them great. And now I have to rush to do them. I'm trying to get into programs for university that need averages in the 80's and 90's, which means I can't be cramming in homeworkt like this. I'd like to ask my parents like; are you going to pay for all the work I'm missing or replace all the money I spent on beach stuff?
OR
The fact that this isn't the first time that my parents have built my hopes up for something and completely smashed them down with a stomping godzilla foot. I've moved houses over 3 times in the last 2 years because my parents couldn't make up their freakin' mind about what they wanted to live in and they finally decided on my least favourite choice of place ever. Out in the country almost to navan. I have to bus 2 hours a day to get to school and an hour each way if I want to go somewhere later to hang out. It's actually aggravating. I feel like I'm on a caddle train everyday. They told me because they were doing this and moving me out so far where it was inconvient to get places that they would be getting me a car by the begginning of the summer.... CHECK THE DATE?! Yeah, it's october. Still no car. Somewhat understandable seeing as I was a little late on getting my G2... but now they're telling me that we'd have a second car ready soon for me so I could have that to get places. When I ask about when that's going to happen seeing as they said soon.. now they're telling me that it won't be until march because we won't have enough room in the drive way until my sister moves out. MY ASS AGAIN. We have a 4 car drive way. Just cause there's a sidewalk near the end doesn't make it any less as big. It's just dissapointment after dissapointment. And I'm sick of it.
I'm just so tired of being told something and then it not happening. It's almost like I'm being lied to over and over again... How am I suppose to believe anything my parents say anymore. They're telling me we are instead going to do a vacation in febuary and I can't bring myself to believe them till I'm actually in the car, on the way there. I'm not sure I even want to go anywhere with them now. I'm trying to keep a level head, thinking maybe I'm over reacting a bit.. I mean it's just a vacation... But it's more than that. This actually hurts me... Almost like they think they can just play around with my life as they please.
no.
No.
NO.
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