Well it's the end of the school year again... and for once I am not returning in september! My last exam is tomorrow, and I don't think it has fully kicked in yet that I'm graduating high school! I'm so excited for the bigger and better things that await me! Before I completely leave high school behind, I wanted to thank a certain teacher that I hope will read this soon! Seeing as teachers don't have yearbooks, this seemed like a good idea!
Mr. Rama,
I am crazy appreciative of everything that you have done for me this year. Although I don't think you could have handled Eena and I in another class together, I kind of wish that I had you for a teacher before grade 12! You're constant support and feedback has made me want to write on a regular basis and develop more as a writer. You're a great teacher and I've never enjoyed myself more or felt better about my work then I have in your classes. The fact that you had confidence in my writing when I didn't always feel so great about it really means a lot. You can count on seeing a novel or a screen play written by me sometime in the future, and just know that without you and grammar smart (of course) it would not of been possible!
Thanks for all the snacks, the laughs and the good times! Keep up the great teaching, you're awesome at it :)
p.s. sorry about the over use of the word "within" on my exam...
Thanks again and peace out Sir Wil :)
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Friday, December 30, 2011
Hello, Goodbye
2011
Thanks for being one of the best years to date. You brought me face to face with some of the most difficult decisions and I feel like without them, I wouldn't be who I am right now. There's parts of this year I really wished didn't go by so fast but they were wonderful. I've never experienced so much happiness or sadness until this year.
2011 tought me to not be afraid of my own feelings. I learnt to not be afraid of telling someone how I feel because they might just feel the same way. I know now that even if they don't feel the same way; it's not the end of the world. I learnt that sometimes you don't always get what you want and it's often the case that you don't get your fairytale guy at 17. And even after what feels like to short a period of time or maybe the best months of your life; it can all come crashing down. I also learnt what real heart break feels like. And in all honesty, I'm still not over it. Probably won't be for a while. It's probably the worst feeling to live with but I don't regret a minute of it cause it's ok to not be ok. It's okay to not feel good enough, to feel down, it's just a part of life. I've learnt it's how you deal with those feelings and how you overcome them is what really matters.
But most importantly, I learnt that you can't base your happiness off someone else. Someone might make you happy but they don't create your happiness. You have be content with yourself because at the end of the day when all those people are gone and you are left by yourself ... you're the one you have to live with.
So with 2011 coming to an end I'm not going to make up a bunch of promises that I know that I'm not going to keep for 2012. I'm not going to say that I'm going to change who I am, lose weight or improve a certain aspect of my life. I'm just going to continue to be me ... because I think that's good enough and it's worked so far, hasn't it?
Thanks for being one of the best years to date. You brought me face to face with some of the most difficult decisions and I feel like without them, I wouldn't be who I am right now. There's parts of this year I really wished didn't go by so fast but they were wonderful. I've never experienced so much happiness or sadness until this year.
2011 tought me to not be afraid of my own feelings. I learnt to not be afraid of telling someone how I feel because they might just feel the same way. I know now that even if they don't feel the same way; it's not the end of the world. I learnt that sometimes you don't always get what you want and it's often the case that you don't get your fairytale guy at 17. And even after what feels like to short a period of time or maybe the best months of your life; it can all come crashing down. I also learnt what real heart break feels like. And in all honesty, I'm still not over it. Probably won't be for a while. It's probably the worst feeling to live with but I don't regret a minute of it cause it's ok to not be ok. It's okay to not feel good enough, to feel down, it's just a part of life. I've learnt it's how you deal with those feelings and how you overcome them is what really matters.
But most importantly, I learnt that you can't base your happiness off someone else. Someone might make you happy but they don't create your happiness. You have be content with yourself because at the end of the day when all those people are gone and you are left by yourself ... you're the one you have to live with.
So with 2011 coming to an end I'm not going to make up a bunch of promises that I know that I'm not going to keep for 2012. I'm not going to say that I'm going to change who I am, lose weight or improve a certain aspect of my life. I'm just going to continue to be me ... because I think that's good enough and it's worked so far, hasn't it?
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Naked.
I think I've been caught naked more times then anybody else. Yes, you heard it; naked, bare and exposed. Have I got your attention now? Thought so.
Contrary to what you might be thinking, I'm not talking about being spotted with no clothes on or people seeing me in my birthday suit. No, I'm talking about a feeling. And this is a feeling that I think only true writer's can fully comprehend and relate too because other people don't wear their heart on their sleeve... or on a piece of paper, so to speak, like we do.
I'll speak for myself when I say that writing is a form of expression and it's 100% the way that I express myself and my feelings. When I'm happy, sad, angry, tired; I write. Which means that it's very probable that many of my feelings, experiences and emotions can be read easily in all my writing. Talk about an open book.
When other people ask me to send them my work or read my writing, it's hard to tell them why I'm so hesistant. It's not because I'm not proud of my work or I don't think it's any good. It's because my writing is the most naked and honest thing anyone will ever see relating to me. When someone reads my writing, it makes me feel that way. It's almost like they have a looking glass into my mind and sometimes that's really scary. You can look at person completely nude standing in front of you and not see who they are. But take one look at what they write or how they express themselves and you could know their whole life.
Sometimes things they don't even want you to know are sitting in plain view and it can all just be read off a piece of paper.
Contrary to what you might be thinking, I'm not talking about being spotted with no clothes on or people seeing me in my birthday suit. No, I'm talking about a feeling. And this is a feeling that I think only true writer's can fully comprehend and relate too because other people don't wear their heart on their sleeve... or on a piece of paper, so to speak, like we do.
I'll speak for myself when I say that writing is a form of expression and it's 100% the way that I express myself and my feelings. When I'm happy, sad, angry, tired; I write. Which means that it's very probable that many of my feelings, experiences and emotions can be read easily in all my writing. Talk about an open book.
When other people ask me to send them my work or read my writing, it's hard to tell them why I'm so hesistant. It's not because I'm not proud of my work or I don't think it's any good. It's because my writing is the most naked and honest thing anyone will ever see relating to me. When someone reads my writing, it makes me feel that way. It's almost like they have a looking glass into my mind and sometimes that's really scary. You can look at person completely nude standing in front of you and not see who they are. But take one look at what they write or how they express themselves and you could know their whole life.
Sometimes things they don't even want you to know are sitting in plain view and it can all just be read off a piece of paper.
YOU SAVED ME, THANK YOU SO MUCH♥
I'd like to make a small shout out to one of my friends that in recent events has made me see them in a new light. After knowing him for a long time through elementary school and then getting to know him even more for three years in high school I thought I understood him pretty well. Turns out I was very wrong. So this is everything that I'd love to say to him;
Dear friend,
I am extremely proud to know you. You're one of the most amazing and warm hearted guys that I've had the privilege to get to know in my life. I'm extremely grateful to have you to talk to over the past month when things haven't been so easy for me. You took the time out of your life to listen to all my problems no matter how boring or irrelevant they were to you. You comforted me and made me feel better. I don't know what I would have done without you and all your advice because it has honestly helped me more than you know. You're the only person that has ever asked me if I'm okay and not believed me when I said I was. You give me the harsh truth when I don't want it, but actually need it the most; and even though it upsets me at times, I'm extremely happy to hear it. I never knew that you were such a deep and complex guy with feelings that I didn't know guys even possessed. You hope for a lot of the same things I do when it comes to love and happiness and that makes me feel very close to you. It breaks my heart to see you hurting because I know that no matter how many smiles you give to others, that there's pain deep down. The fact that it hurts you so much to hurt others makes me see that you're an actual genuine person with a giant heart, which is the best quality to have. You're optomism and strength is inspiring and it gives me hope for my own life. I sincerely hope with all my heart that you find all the love and happiness that you're searching for because I can't think of anybody else who would deserve it more. You're so sweet and such a nice guy that I wish I could make all your dreams come true and all the pain you feel go away. Thank you so much for all your help and please know that I'm always here for you, just as much as you are here for me. You deserve the world, and I'd like to thank you for helping me see that I deserve things too. I hope to continue to become better friends and stay close after high school. Keep smiling, happy looks good on you ♥
Dear friend,
I am extremely proud to know you. You're one of the most amazing and warm hearted guys that I've had the privilege to get to know in my life. I'm extremely grateful to have you to talk to over the past month when things haven't been so easy for me. You took the time out of your life to listen to all my problems no matter how boring or irrelevant they were to you. You comforted me and made me feel better. I don't know what I would have done without you and all your advice because it has honestly helped me more than you know. You're the only person that has ever asked me if I'm okay and not believed me when I said I was. You give me the harsh truth when I don't want it, but actually need it the most; and even though it upsets me at times, I'm extremely happy to hear it. I never knew that you were such a deep and complex guy with feelings that I didn't know guys even possessed. You hope for a lot of the same things I do when it comes to love and happiness and that makes me feel very close to you. It breaks my heart to see you hurting because I know that no matter how many smiles you give to others, that there's pain deep down. The fact that it hurts you so much to hurt others makes me see that you're an actual genuine person with a giant heart, which is the best quality to have. You're optomism and strength is inspiring and it gives me hope for my own life. I sincerely hope with all my heart that you find all the love and happiness that you're searching for because I can't think of anybody else who would deserve it more. You're so sweet and such a nice guy that I wish I could make all your dreams come true and all the pain you feel go away. Thank you so much for all your help and please know that I'm always here for you, just as much as you are here for me. You deserve the world, and I'd like to thank you for helping me see that I deserve things too. I hope to continue to become better friends and stay close after high school. Keep smiling, happy looks good on you ♥
Comfort foods; pizza
So seeing as this is a blog that is suppose to encompass my being and personality; I think I should address a topic that many poeple know about me but don't fully understand. I have a huge adoration for food. There's a big place in my heart for food, but that place is more specifically dedicated to my love of PIZZA.
If we're being honest.. what's not to love?
Fluffy baked dough crunchy on the outside but soft inside.
Red, spiced dreamy sauce coating the dough.
Topped with mozzarella cheese.
Baked in an oven until that cheese melts to a nice golden brown.
When you bite into it, there's an abundance of flavour and cheesy goodness.
And even though there are many variations of the pizza, I still like to stick to the simple cheese pizza... because it consists of the perfect cheese to crust to sauce ratio.
Besides the obvious deliciousness of a pizza... there are plenty more reasons why I love this Italian meal.
I once read somewhere that Grecs believed that everything that was a circular or round shape was created by the Gods. That's where all their beliefs about the sun and earth come from. Pizza is a circular shape, so it is apparent to me that pizza was created by the Gods. That's why it's so heavenly to eat.
It's one of the only foods that I have never gotten sick of eating. I could eat it everyday, for every meal. The only thing that's stopping me is the discusting fact of how much fat and calories it has. I don't know how New Yorkers control themselves with famous New York pizza or I think it's Chicago with their deep dish pizza. There's just so much love of pizza to go around... I wouldn't be able to stop myself. I truly believe that no matter where life takes me, as long I live somewhere near a really good pizzeria... I would be able to live a happy life.
On top of all this, pizza or just food in general has never let me down. It's the only thing that's never let me down. I can count of delicious foods, to be there for me when I need them. Food is comfort for me, and I have no problem admitting that.
Pizza is my comfort food.
It's also a vegetable... so I think it's a healthy choice :)
If we're being honest.. what's not to love?
Fluffy baked dough crunchy on the outside but soft inside.
Red, spiced dreamy sauce coating the dough.
Topped with mozzarella cheese.
Baked in an oven until that cheese melts to a nice golden brown.
When you bite into it, there's an abundance of flavour and cheesy goodness.
And even though there are many variations of the pizza, I still like to stick to the simple cheese pizza... because it consists of the perfect cheese to crust to sauce ratio.
Besides the obvious deliciousness of a pizza... there are plenty more reasons why I love this Italian meal.
I once read somewhere that Grecs believed that everything that was a circular or round shape was created by the Gods. That's where all their beliefs about the sun and earth come from. Pizza is a circular shape, so it is apparent to me that pizza was created by the Gods. That's why it's so heavenly to eat.
It's one of the only foods that I have never gotten sick of eating. I could eat it everyday, for every meal. The only thing that's stopping me is the discusting fact of how much fat and calories it has. I don't know how New Yorkers control themselves with famous New York pizza or I think it's Chicago with their deep dish pizza. There's just so much love of pizza to go around... I wouldn't be able to stop myself. I truly believe that no matter where life takes me, as long I live somewhere near a really good pizzeria... I would be able to live a happy life.
On top of all this, pizza or just food in general has never let me down. It's the only thing that's never let me down. I can count of delicious foods, to be there for me when I need them. Food is comfort for me, and I have no problem admitting that.
Pizza is my comfort food.
It's also a vegetable... so I think it's a healthy choice :)
SLAM
This is too that one girl who thinks they're more important.
Walk... with your hips swaying side to side.
Talk... with that superior tone and obnoxious grin.
Sit... on that ass and do nothing.
'Cause you're just a leech sucking out the happiness in this world.
Live... apart from everyone around you and roll your eyes.
Sleep... through all the good times and only see the bad.
Complain... all the time about everyone around you.
'Cause you're oblivious to dark light that shines down on you.
Bully... knowingly and purposely, like you have nothing better to do with your time.
Pity... all the people that look like ants in your big fat head.
Smile... even though it's the only thing that you're never going to truly feel.
'Cause there's only negativity that consumes you.
Think twice when you walk around,
Those narrow hallways run parrellel with your thought prossess.
Never moving, never understanding.
Never changing.
So judge.
Look down.
Feel good about yourself.
'Cause nobody's going look twice at a girl who thinks she's better.
Walk... with your hips swaying side to side.
Talk... with that superior tone and obnoxious grin.
Sit... on that ass and do nothing.
'Cause you're just a leech sucking out the happiness in this world.
Live... apart from everyone around you and roll your eyes.
Sleep... through all the good times and only see the bad.
Complain... all the time about everyone around you.
'Cause you're oblivious to dark light that shines down on you.
Bully... knowingly and purposely, like you have nothing better to do with your time.
Pity... all the people that look like ants in your big fat head.
Smile... even though it's the only thing that you're never going to truly feel.
'Cause there's only negativity that consumes you.
Think twice when you walk around,
Those narrow hallways run parrellel with your thought prossess.
Never moving, never understanding.
Never changing.
So judge.
Look down.
Feel good about yourself.
'Cause nobody's going look twice at a girl who thinks she's better.
New Friends
Friday night at two in the morning, I was on my computer, talking to a friend and playing around with my tumblr blog when one of the girls that I follow posted a comment. It read, "I really just need a friend to talk to, or a stranger. Anybody who can just listen." I decided that because it was so late in the night and I wasn't sleeping anyways that I would reply. So I did. I asked her if there was anything I could help her with or if she just needed me there to listen... I knew I was a stranger but I was there if she needed me. I'm actually very glad that I did because I ended up making a friend.
Not only in one reply did I make a new friend but I managed to listen and give advice to a complete stranger and that was an amazing feeling. It's often hard to get into the heads of others and understand where they're coming from. I never believed that you could really empathize with someone without going through exactly what they did, because what makes you think that you know exactly what they feel? For me, assuming kind of feels offensive because while they're in pain, you might not be so how are you going to help or say that you're going to take that pain away when you can't? But this really changed my mind. I understand now that you don't need to go through the same things to empathize and to help, it just makes it easier to relate and connect when that happens.
I guess with all the struggles and hardships in my life right now, I've kind of retreited into my own bubble. I've been bottling up all my feelings and putting on a smile everyday. I don't like burdening people with my problems or sharing them because I feel weaker that way. But it felt really good to be able to be there for someone else and them be there for me. The fact that a complete stranger would stop, let me help them and then graciously ask how I'm doing and tell me that it'll be okay, and that I deserve happiness puts a little hope back into my life. It kind of reminded me that there are still good people out there that are actually genuine in their intensions, which is often hard to find. We all need friends and people to depend on, that doesn't make us weaker... it just makes us human.
Not only in one reply did I make a new friend but I managed to listen and give advice to a complete stranger and that was an amazing feeling. It's often hard to get into the heads of others and understand where they're coming from. I never believed that you could really empathize with someone without going through exactly what they did, because what makes you think that you know exactly what they feel? For me, assuming kind of feels offensive because while they're in pain, you might not be so how are you going to help or say that you're going to take that pain away when you can't? But this really changed my mind. I understand now that you don't need to go through the same things to empathize and to help, it just makes it easier to relate and connect when that happens.
I guess with all the struggles and hardships in my life right now, I've kind of retreited into my own bubble. I've been bottling up all my feelings and putting on a smile everyday. I don't like burdening people with my problems or sharing them because I feel weaker that way. But it felt really good to be able to be there for someone else and them be there for me. The fact that a complete stranger would stop, let me help them and then graciously ask how I'm doing and tell me that it'll be okay, and that I deserve happiness puts a little hope back into my life. It kind of reminded me that there are still good people out there that are actually genuine in their intensions, which is often hard to find. We all need friends and people to depend on, that doesn't make us weaker... it just makes us human.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)